IC CONTACT

[blueser]

"Hello... Whatever... Don't worry about me. I'm doing peachy over here! I was just looking for something to do! Wanna battle me again?"

[telepathy | Pidgeot-mail]

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[blueser]

Oh..........

[Blue mumbles, and goes quiet again, turning away.]

[This was weird. He'd rather just forget he said anything.]

[And then Killua turns it back on him. The bastard--!]

Wh--! I don't know! That's why I'm asking you!! [He snaps, a little loudly, face reddening further.] It's... I don't... It wasn't that different at all, really, so I... was trying to figure out if it was.... If it was just...

You know.... [He angrily presses his lips together. Dammit. He doesn't wanna talk about this anymore!]

--Forget that! What do you mean, your butlers or whatever?

[trypanophobic]

[it's not that different? oh jeez. so is he weird after all?

—ugh, it's pointless to wonder. he's definitely weird. Killua's similarly thankful when the subject is changed, even if he finds it sort of a weak deflection and he wishes he got a more sincere answer from Blue...]

H-huh? What about them?

I...I don't know, the Zoldyck family has always had butlers. It's a pretty lofty position; you have to be really powerful for the position, in addition to being professional, educated and all that stuff...

[blueser]

[Blue's eyes widen, glad for the distraction. Woah. He knew Killua had said his family were a big deal and all, in addition to being scary, but.... They sounded crazy wealthy, too.]

What, really? ....So your family is that rich...

[He muses, and of course his thoughts conveniently, gently sidestep the whole murder thing. Or try, anyway- until he mentions them being powerful.] I guess it makes sense, but what's the point of a bodyguard if you guys are all strong already?

[trypanophobic]

Yeah. To be honest, our wealth is ridiculous—but that never stops my family from taking insane jobs. I feel like we could probably all retire comfortably without running out of money, but we're all pretty used to the expendable income...

[Killua included. he was lousy at holding onto money.]

As for the Butlers—it saves us the hassle. They often would exterminate intruders way before they could get to our house—we have a lot of enemies, understandably...

Doesn't help the mountain we lived on was a tourist destination. Some dipshits would get some bright ideas semi frequently.

[blueser]

[Blue doesn't really know what to say to all this... It was kind of amazing. His family was well-off enough, and well-known, but they didn't really get crazy uninvited visitors or anything like that. There had been a bit of an uptick in tourists- both thanks to the Champion status of him and Red, along with gramps gaining more common popularity with his radio show these days- but nothing that he ever thought would require guards...]

[The wealth of his family is something else, too. It's easy to gullibly imagine what that was like, but.... and Killua alludes to it a little, maybe it wasn't all that rosey. He'd left, after all.]

[But Killua already told him about that.....]

I guess I can understand. I'm glad people that come to visit Pallet Town aren't that nuts... [He breathes out quietly.] ...Not that the person they were coming to see was around......

[Ah, right. Speaking of why they were out here.]

[trypanophobic]

[Killua is just some hairs shy enough to miss that context.

he leans forward curiously, peering at Blue. so their homes both kind of had tourist draws...?]

Mm?

[blueser]

[Blue side-glances back at Killua and then, seeing his confusion, his eyes lid with exhaustion again.]

Didn't I...? Maybe not.....

Precious lil' baby Red was the Champion, back then... until he went running with his tail between his legs, anyway.

[Blue's irritation, sharp and tired, grows.] Whether it was interviews, or visitors, or anything else, I don't know what they expected. It's not like he's celebrity material or anything. I don't know why he even--

....bothered. [Blue's mouth sets into a bitter frown, the anger and tension that he'd been distracted from all coiling right back up into him again.]

[He rubs his eyes. It's late.]

Whatever. Is that it?

[trypanophobic]

[he still doesn't totally get it—but piece by piece, things are coming together. he leans up a little when Blue asks that question, so cold and conclusive, but doesn't impede.]

—Ah, uh.

I mean, that's... up to you, I guess.

[Killua glances away, feeling anxious. he frowns. he doesn't even really know if Blue wants to come back. he'd understand wanting a few days, or something, but selfishly he hopes against it.]

...Either way, wherever you wanna go, I'll walk you there. I wasn't planning on sleeping, so I don't mind.

[blueser]

[Blue frowns at Killua's frown, and stares down at the ground again. He doesn't know what he wants to do, but--]

[Even if he's scared, even if his instincts are telling him to avoid hurt and go off on his own... He doesn't want to be alone. He's pretty sure of that. And it wasn't even really because of Killua that he wanted to run.]

[But it's uncomfortable, admitting something like that, even when he's done it before under the influence of the fog. Even if he knows Killua understands. He presses his lips together and hesitates, creeping cold in the air.]

I don't want you to do that to yourself. [And if he isn't doing it for Blue's sake, then why? He casts a glance towards Killua but it only makes it as far as his feet next to him, too cowardly to inch further up.]

[He reaches up to rub his eyes.] I don't know what I want.... [He admits softly, half-hearted. All he has right now are emotional urges, and those are bound to be regretted later when he's once again in a proper frame of mind.]

[Blue isn't sure whether it's more or less dangerous for him to be around Killua, right now, when he's like this.]

[trypanophobic]

That’s fine. You don’t have to know what you want, I guess. [Killua leans back.] And anyway, I can comfortably go without sleeping for a couple days. More assassin stuff.

[what he doesn’t mention, of course, is that he’s too tense and wound up to sleep anyway. between all the crazy shit Gon said, potentially reframing a LOT of Killua’s understanding of things, and this tension with Blue...]

...We don’t have to talk, either. We can just rest for a minute while you figure it out. I don’t have to be here, either— [he glances at Blue.] —if you don’t want me to be.

But like I said, I... really don’t mind.

[blueser]

['More assassin stuff'. Blue wasn't sure if that made him feel any better about it, but he isn't going to argue if Killua says he can handle it. Just because he can, doesn't mean he should... But they can argue that point another time.]

[Blue's lips press together, and although there's a slight pause-- he shakes his head hurriedly, fists tight in his lap.] No... No, I-- You don't have to leave.

[He frames it as what Killua wants, but it's obviously about what he wants, isn't it? It always is.]

[He hesitates again, because this is ...difficult, but he doesn't know where else they could go. He doesn't exactly mind this- just sitting in the middle of the quiet street together. But it feels a little weird. At least with Killua there, he doesn't have to ...worry about safety, or anything.]

Sorry... I'm jerking you around... For now, just like we are... it's fine.

[trypanophobic]

[Killua blinks, a little surprised—but glances off, ultimately. he's never... really received an apology for something like that. and further, he's never seen it that way. but it's a type of validation that strikes him to his core in a way he can't ignore.

and even if he doesn't ignore it, however, he can certainly not outwardly react to it.

it just kind of feels like having work acknowledged, even though Killua never expects that kind of thing.

to be honest, Killua's happy for this outcome—no matter what Blue decides to do, even if he doesn't want to come back... he's just happy feeling somewhat secure that probably it's not the end to their friendship.]

You're fine.

I think so too.

[blueser]

[Blue doesn't talk again- and soon enough, it becomes more apparent why, as his exhaustion finally gives way, despite his stubbornness. Blue slumps to the side, catching against Killua's shoulder; but the hold is tenuous, and a squirm or two might have him slipping off.]

[It's been a long night for the both of them, of course- but Blue has no resistance or perseverance when it comes to exhaustion, and sleep takes him easily in the comfort of Killua's presence. Whether Killua chooses to wake him and take him back home, or just sit there until dawn- he sleeps restfully, despite all his inner turmoil.]

[trypanophobic]

[Killua glances at Blue when he begins to nod off—and he doesn't react too much when he eventually tilts against his shoulder. he notices the sleepy struggle, as well—like Blue's maybe sort of fighting it... which makes his eventual caving all the more endearing.

he lets Blue rest like that for a good 30 minutes or so. just listening to the nature around them, reflecting on his night—and the last week. his birthday, the strange things Gon said, what Killua learned about Red—

what he...potentially learned about Blue, too.

feeling sufficiently at peace once he's convinced that Blue's sleeping heavily enough, with the deft command and control easily given by his status and training, Killua carefully gathers Blue up. if he stirs, Killua stills in time to it. he's done this sort of thing countless times.

with Gon, in less comfortable states—the grimmest when he was walking him to the nearest hospital, holding Gon's severed arm, carefully tracking his sleepy, petering heartbeat... and in happier memories, with Alluka, for things as simple or innocent just as this.

Blue doesn't have to stay at the apartment. but for tonight, at least, it's the most comfortable place to be. once home, Killua enters far more silently than he'd exited, and, just as carefully as all else, he shifts Blue gently onto his bed. and before turning to leave, a lingering glance sticks to him in the darkness.

and how funny, for someone who used to be an assassin—his eyes always on the shapes of people in the dark, but this time, watchfully, of a deep emotion rather than a hollow, programmed instinct.

when Killua eventually slides into his own bed, it's true as he'd told Blue; he doesn't sleep. instead, he watches Gon's figure, over the gradual creeping of hours, slowly come into illuminated focus.]