[of course, that isn't totally true. Killua had Alluka to play with and talk to, but it's not quite the same as growing up with another boy your age—Killua doesn't relate to Alluka quite the same way as Gon. it's not bad, just different.]
Mm. So much that they wanted me to be the heir instead of my older brothers.
[Killua has no awareness for how this subject in particular is bruising for Blue—but he'll learn in time, probably...]
...Sorry, though. That really sucks. To be honest...
[Killua scowls, his cheeks pinkening. his feelings for Gon and Blue's feelings for Red were... probably different, he thinks. with Gon, no matter how you categorize anything, his initial facilitation in friendship was utter infatuation. quick and dizzy, and then so tight—not something so long term...
that's why it's so complicated, probably.]
No. Nevermind. But—
[he glances at Blue, a little shyly. it's selfish, maybe, trying to draw comparisons for clarity in his own feelings. but to be fair, Killua has no idea what's normal in friendships... even now, he doesn't have a great idea of what boundaries are totally normal, even if intuitively, he's only just beginning to understand what is and isn't healthy.]
—is he... kind of like a brother to you? Growing up that close.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-26 03:50 am (UTC)Mm. So much that they wanted me to be the heir instead of my older brothers.
[Killua has no awareness for how this subject in particular is bruising for Blue—but he'll learn in time, probably...]
...Sorry, though. That really sucks. To be honest...
[Killua scowls, his cheeks pinkening. his feelings for Gon and Blue's feelings for Red were... probably different, he thinks. with Gon, no matter how you categorize anything, his initial facilitation in friendship was utter infatuation. quick and dizzy, and then so tight—not something so long term...
that's why it's so complicated, probably.]
No. Nevermind. But—
[he glances at Blue, a little shyly. it's selfish, maybe, trying to draw comparisons for clarity in his own feelings. but to be fair, Killua has no idea what's normal in friendships... even now, he doesn't have a great idea of what boundaries are totally normal, even if intuitively, he's only just beginning to understand what is and isn't healthy.]
—is he... kind of like a brother to you? Growing up that close.