[in the pause, in Blue's deliberation, even then, Killua is hard bracing for the worst—he's of two minds. he doesn't get why Blue is this upset, and doesn't understand the full nature of the damage... but it's true: Killua does respect it. he hurt Blue's feelings, and that's what matters. there's no greater grievance than the betrayal of a friend's feelings; he was taught so, both by his father and by his own experience. it's tantamount to the various forms of torture that Killua has endured.
it was true, what his family said, though Killua hadn't heard it himself—he was better off with that needle in his head, less feeling, less harsh on himself.
so when Blue cautiously invites Killua out for a walk, he's surprised. he whips his head up, feeling a new glossy wash over his eyes, a fat set of tears rolling down his face for it. he reigns it in, tightly and suddenly, dropping his head. discreetly, in the shadows, he wipes his eyes.]
Okay.
[he exhales a shuddering breath, standing, trying to brace himself. he already had a difficult talk with Gon, tonight—with success. it seemed unlikely he could be so lucky twice in one night, but challenging his fears had already proved to be rewarding. at Blue's behest, at the very least, Killua could try again.]
no subject
it was true, what his family said, though Killua hadn't heard it himself—he was better off with that needle in his head, less feeling, less harsh on himself.
so when Blue cautiously invites Killua out for a walk, he's surprised. he whips his head up, feeling a new glossy wash over his eyes, a fat set of tears rolling down his face for it. he reigns it in, tightly and suddenly, dropping his head. discreetly, in the shadows, he wipes his eyes.]
Okay.
[he exhales a shuddering breath, standing, trying to brace himself. he already had a difficult talk with Gon, tonight—with success. it seemed unlikely he could be so lucky twice in one night, but challenging his fears had already proved to be rewarding. at Blue's behest, at the very least, Killua could try again.]
Lead the way.
[vocalizing his gratitude would be too lame...]