[Killua, steeling against his own worst fears, had said so at least a couple of times to Gon: he wasn't optimistic Blue would return. and maybe more than anything, that was the pessimist part of Killua that was so largely occupying in his being. always hyper vigilant. always bracing for the worst case scenario.
so even though he and Gon had worked some deep, hard things out that same night—embracing and crying respectively, Killua had ultimately assured Gon he'd be to their room perhaps the next morning, if he slept at all. that he was going to wait for Blue. but, eyes unfocused in the dark as he sat there, tense in his grave anticipation. wasn't it bad, that he wasn't optimistic? when he only had a vague idea of where he'd fucked up—he knows some things are compounded. it's not just whatever mistake he's made; it's also Red's bad timing, their likely fallout...
but Killua can't help but brace himself for loss.
when Blue opens the door, Killua's whole body arrests with tension, his eyes immediately fixed on his paley illuminated silhouette. he doesn't know what to say; it's like he understands Blue's intentions, but hopes they aren't what he thinks. he doesn't know what to say, but from the shadowy figure of Killua's own shape on the couch, it's clear that he sits up.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2019-07-24 02:00 am (UTC)so even though he and Gon had worked some deep, hard things out that same night—embracing and crying respectively, Killua had ultimately assured Gon he'd be to their room perhaps the next morning, if he slept at all. that he was going to wait for Blue. but, eyes unfocused in the dark as he sat there, tense in his grave anticipation. wasn't it bad, that he wasn't optimistic? when he only had a vague idea of where he'd fucked up—he knows some things are compounded. it's not just whatever mistake he's made; it's also Red's bad timing, their likely fallout...
but Killua can't help but brace himself for loss.
when Blue opens the door, Killua's whole body arrests with tension, his eyes immediately fixed on his paley illuminated silhouette. he doesn't know what to say; it's like he understands Blue's intentions, but hopes they aren't what he thinks. he doesn't know what to say, but from the shadowy figure of Killua's own shape on the couch, it's clear that he sits up.]