[It's painful, but... Blue's patient, hangs on every word. Gives Killua the time to explain himself, listens to his reply carefully.]
[It's... not decisive, is it? And yet there's a longing there, and a resignation. Killua was his age... And already, he had this much on his conscience, had already decided that this was inevitable for him. It hurts Blue to think about, that he might have to do something so terrible when he doesn't want to, but also to consider that he might hurt someone because he does want to. He doesn't quite know how to handle it.]
[His fists, white knuckled, remain stuck at his sides, glancing at the ground where the ice tricks into the lakewater, cracks, and reforms as it crawls. His vision is blurring and he doesn't realize until he feels the tears rolling down, then sniffs, embarrassed, and hides his face away in his sleeve to wipe them. Gyarados shifts forward, pressing his face worriedly against Blue's body.]
I-- [Blue stumbles, laying his arms over Gyarados' snout to calm him, and fights with himself over what to say.] I want to be your friend....
[It comes out heartfelt, a painful admission of loneliness, and yet there's something else there. A 'But' remains, built into the hesitance at the end of that statement.] ...Is that okay... Even if I'm scared?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2019-05-27 06:07 am (UTC)[It's... not decisive, is it? And yet there's a longing there, and a resignation. Killua was his age... And already, he had this much on his conscience, had already decided that this was inevitable for him. It hurts Blue to think about, that he might have to do something so terrible when he doesn't want to, but also to consider that he might hurt someone because he does want to. He doesn't quite know how to handle it.]
[His fists, white knuckled, remain stuck at his sides, glancing at the ground where the ice tricks into the lakewater, cracks, and reforms as it crawls. His vision is blurring and he doesn't realize until he feels the tears rolling down, then sniffs, embarrassed, and hides his face away in his sleeve to wipe them. Gyarados shifts forward, pressing his face worriedly against Blue's body.]
I-- [Blue stumbles, laying his arms over Gyarados' snout to calm him, and fights with himself over what to say.] I want to be your friend....
[It comes out heartfelt, a painful admission of loneliness, and yet there's something else there. A 'But' remains, built into the hesitance at the end of that statement.] ...Is that okay... Even if I'm scared?