[Blue's heart is racing before Killua even explains, the fear, the sense of impending loss, like he was teetering on the edge of a cliff. He's struggling to understand... and yet that declaration- that Killua really, actively wants to be his friend.... Even though he's seen this side of him, what a cowardly crybaby he really is...]
[After that, it's hard for him to think about anything else.]
[For a long few moments as Killua speaks, he just watches, stares in wide-eyed silence, and it's hard to tell what kind of reaction he's having until slowly, he takes one step back, but then he seems to stop himself, physically tightening with the instinct to hide, or flee, but forcing himself not to.]
[What would win out in him, fear, or loneliness?] I don't...
[Blue quietly begins, voice shaking, but then he clamps down on that too. Ice spreads from underfoot, tiny sheets prickling with fear and apprehension.] But you... You don't want to do it anymore, right? You're not... doing it because you want to...?
[Is he just making excuses?? Trying to grapple with the weight of this mentally, try to equate the boy who has been so kind to him with this admission, a killer.]
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[After that, it's hard for him to think about anything else.]
[For a long few moments as Killua speaks, he just watches, stares in wide-eyed silence, and it's hard to tell what kind of reaction he's having until slowly, he takes one step back, but then he seems to stop himself, physically tightening with the instinct to hide, or flee, but forcing himself not to.]
[What would win out in him, fear, or loneliness?] I don't...
[Blue quietly begins, voice shaking, but then he clamps down on that too. Ice spreads from underfoot, tiny sheets prickling with fear and apprehension.] But you... You don't want to do it anymore, right? You're not... doing it because you want to...?
[Is he just making excuses?? Trying to grapple with the weight of this mentally, try to equate the boy who has been so kind to him with this admission, a killer.]